G.
Ray Jordan told the story of a man who lay on his
deathbed, harassed by fear because he had harbored
hatred against another. He sent for the individual
with whom he had had a disagreement years before; he
then made overtures of peace. The two of them shook
hands in friendship. But as the visitor left the
room, the sick man roused himself and said,
"Remember, if I get over this, the old quarrel
stands."
Sadly that's the way many people look at
the mending of relationships. It is part of the
"getting-your-house-in-order-before-you-die"
routine. But God calls for reconciliation and
forgiveness, not just to make death easier, but also
to make life easier. How many people are living in
misery because they carry a grudge that is draining
the joy from their lives? Gradually everything
becomes colored by cynicism and bitterness. Life
loses the sweet flavor and peace it once had. The
person who has been wounded by another becomes twice
victimized, once by the person who sinned against
him, and now, by himself.
In Ephesians 4:32 the Bible says,
"Be kind to one
another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just
as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
Often it’s pointed out that before a person may
be forgiven, there must be repentance. Contrary to
popular belief, that is true. The Bible says, “Pay
attention to yourselves! If your brother sins,
rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if
he sins against you seven times in the day, and
turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you
must forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4). Upon what condition
must we forgive? If he repents. We are to forgive as
God forgives and God doesn’t forgive without
repentance (Acts 2:38). However some have twisted
this truth to serve themselves and justify their own
bad behavior. So let’s be clear on this—forgiveness
requires repentance, love does not. We must not
think that we are justified in being actively rude
or silently aloof when someone has offended us. If
the offense is serious enough to sulk about it’s
serious enough to talk to the offender. If he
repents, forgive him. If he does not repent, love
him anyway! Is that hard? Maybe. But maybe only
because some of us have gotten into a pattern of
putting a higher premium on our pride than we do on
the love of Christ. Love and forgiveness will keep
you side by side with Jesus. Pride and smug
self-satisfaction will send you to hell.
The Bible says, “Above
all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love
covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8) and “if
you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither
will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew
6:15)
Personally I am blessed because I have this quality
modeled before me regularly in my wife. (Maybe it's
because she's had so much practice living with me.)
Such people are sons and daughters of God because of
their desire and effort to make peace (Matthew 5:9).
Hatred and grudges are like anvils and anchors that
many folks are lugging through life. Their backs are
stooped and their faces drawn. And they are usually
hurting themselves more than anyone else.
Do you have some "baggage" that you need
to let go of? Do you stew in the pew while you wait
for the one who offended you to make the first move?
Sure, you may be able to justify in your mind why
you are in the right. But is it worth it? Are you
better off for carrying around the burden? Or is it
time to let it go?
God bless you,
Brad Fry
