Charles Spurgeon once wrote, "Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend." The Bible says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

Friends are simply there for their friends (Job 2:11,13). After Job lost everything we are told that “when [his] three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great. (Job 2:11-13). Make no mistake about it—Job’s friends would later suffer a major case of foot-in-mouth disease. They would get into trouble when they assumed they knew more than they did. Then they compounded their error by spouting off what they thought they knew. But at least initially they knew simply this—their friend was hurting and they needed to be there for him. Often being a good friend is just giving a sympathetic ear and not necessarily trying to offer solutions to the problem. Everyone needs someone in whom they can confide.

But today such relationships are becoming more rare. In a USA Today report Janet Kornblum wrote, “A study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, released in June of 2006, revealed that Americans have less people they can confide in than past generations. In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. In 2004, that number dropped to two. Perhaps even more striking, the number of Americans with no close friends rose from 10 percent in 1985 to 24.6 percent in 2004.” Could the advent of email, blogs and chat rooms be partially to blame for this decrease in personal closeness? You can turn your computer on or off with the push of a button. In a moment you can be integrated with people from all over. But that attention to electronic integration may come at a price—increasing isolation from flesh and blood people. Part of the reason this appeals to people is that it carries less apparent risk. It’s not really seen as necessary to be kind and patient with people online. Either party can hide under a cloak of anonymity and cut the other off and be done with them. Chances are good that you will never see this person in person.

No so in the real world. With real people that you will see again and again you have to make an effort. Friendship requires cultivating and contact. It requires mutual love, support and kindness. It requires forgiveness and loyalty. Sometimes it even requires uncomfortable honesty. The Bible says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy…and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:6,9).

Thank God for the good friends you have. And be a good friend, the real, personal kind that shakes hands and hugs necks, not just one who stares at a computer monitor.

God bless you,

Brad Fry